"If you don't have confidence, you'll always find a way not to win."
- Carl Lewis
- Carl Lewis
I have been struggling with wanting to be a runner.
For several years I have focused on:"I am a runner because I run, not because I run fast, not because I run far. I am a runner because I say I am and no one can tell me I am not."
I can't run far and I don't run fast. In high school my coach enjoyed telling me how un-athletic I am. I played basketball, volleyball, and ran track. I was never great at any of them. My track experience was horrible. I was disappointed and embarrassed every time I got on the track.
Today when I run I don't want anyone to watch - I still feel like that chunky little girl that could not win a race.
So why, did I decide a couple of years ago that my goal is to run a half-marathon before I turn 50???
Is it because I want to be what I wasn't in high school - an athlete? Is it because I want to prove something to my old coach?
Can a nonrunner run a half-marathon in 40 days? Probably not. What a nonrunner can do is be true to herself. I can run because I want to. I can run for my health. I can run for my future.
So - off I go to build my confidence and pursue my dream of being a runner.