Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Finding Balance When Life Throws a Curve Ball

If you have been following my blog you know, I have been on a journey to find balance.  Last weekend I had a total meltdown, a far cry from finding balance.  The Big Man (aka the Love of My Life) sustained a fracture to his foot.   My backup is out of commission.
In the first few months of our marriage I quickly realized that as a police officer The Big Man loved his job but he had taken a vow of poverty.  We had five children at home and a very tight budget.  One day I happened to see his paycheck from a part-time job.  Immediately I realized we were never going to financially make ends meet by simply adding his part time job.
The Big Man 
So, we sat down and had a conversation about money.  I offered him the deal of a lifetime. If he would assume some of the  household responsibilities I would pickup a part-time job.  As a registered nurse, I could work an 8 hour shift and make three times what he made in eight hours of part-time work.   He agreed, we had to do what was best for everyone. Feeding growing boys cost a fortune and with the children quickly approaching the age where they would have financial needs (camps, cars, graduation, and college) this swap in household duties was a viable option.

The Big Man and the Girls
So - The Big Man and the kids picked up laundry duty, grocery shopping, meal preparation and general household cleaning duties.  I worked - often six twelve hour shifts.   But, we paid off $30,000 in credit card debt that The Big Man had from his first marriage, we bought a home  and we provided for the kids. The children each participated in band, sports, summer camps, etc.  They had everything they needed and sometimes a little extra.
My Stinky Boys Christmas 2014
At this same time I was pursing a Bachelor's Degree (eventually a Master's and a Post-Masters Degree) and serving in the Army Nurse Reserves.  The household duties all somehow shifted to the Big Man. He cooked dinner every night, made sure the laundry was done, the kids got to school and their events, and the house was clean.
Over the years this arrangement has made me very dependent on the Big Man.
Duck Hunting - I Pray for the duck's safety while he hunts
After my melt down this weekend, I have regrouped, prayed a lot and come to the realization that life could be a whole lot worst, three was a time last year when the specialist thought the Big Man had lung cancer. So, I get up a couple of hours earlier and I go to bed a little later.  I have our new house helper work a little more and the Big Man's foot heals.  In six weeks the walking boot comes off and life goes back to normal.  Till then - responsibilities change a little and I find a new point of balance. In the greater scheme of life - I still have the Big Man and life goes on.

What happens when you find yourself with new responsibilities? How do you find balance when life throws you a curve ball?
~ Connie~

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