Dementia and the Fourth of July

I remember a time when my family looked forward to the holidays. We made grand plans, spent time swimming, fishing, preparing large meals, and simply enjoying each other’s company.

This Fourth of July holiday weekend did not go as planned. Four days off, I dreamed of working in my flowers, doing a little sewing or scrapbooking, watching a fireworks display with my husband. 

But, as one of almost 44 million U.S. adults caring for an older family member (my Dad) I found myself trying to find Dad, cooking for Dad, replacing oxygen tubing for Dad, cleaning up multiple accidents created by Dad. Even sleeping was difficult, Dad was up prowling around the house two or three times a night - waking the dogs and the rest of the house.

Caring for an aging parent is hard, do not let anyone tell you it is not hard.  It is also rewarding.  As I walked into my family practice clinic the day after my not so wonderful weekend, I had to take a minute to decompress before seeing patients.  During that few minutes of peace and quiet I realized, Dad would be humiliated and heartbroken if he knew all the silly and sometimes risky things he did this weekend. 

See the blessing to this weekend is Dad does not realize how frustrating and even angry I was with his behavior.   He has Dementia.  

He does not always understand the concept of time or meal schedules. He often does not know what he is trying to find. Sometimes he cannot remember why he walked into a room. 

Caring for an aging parent is hard but, it is a role I have accepted.  The role of caregiver was once his role, now it is mine. So, we move ahead. We develop a bathing schedule, a better nighttime routine, set the door alarm to keep him safe, add a paid caregiver to help out, and keep moving forward with Dementia.

I would love to hear from you, let me know how you deal with or plan to deal with aging parents.

~ ConnieKayA ~
A Southern Girl sharing her passion for living an abundantly blessed life.

On a Journey with My Best Friend

I am married to my best friend - and we have been on a journey for 20 years.  This journey hasn't always been easy - we have raised 5 kids, bought and completed rebuild a home, faced retirement and health issues, rescued a few dogs, opened a business and loved each other unconditionally.

The Big Man spent 25 years as a police officer, he is now the City of Blytheville Building Inspector and is the Justice of the Peace for Mississippi County District 8. Besides me, he loves his guns, hunting, food, our children, dogs (he is allergic to cats). 

He literally walked into my life.  We meet at the park running. He doesn't know it but, I almost quit running that night.  Being competitive I thought I had to keep up with him - all 6'3 inches of him with my 5'2' frame.

He loves my children as his own, accepted my houseful of dogs, learned how to trout fish, bought me a tractor and chickens.  Has supported me during my 18 years of formal education.  Helped me loose weight, meet the military weight and physical fitness standards and supported me during my time in the U.S. Army Nurse Corps Reserves.  He has been my biggest cheerleader as I struggled to open a free health clinic and my own family nurse practitioner office.  He has shielded me from mice and even used a live trap to trap the mice and relocate them rather than kill them so - I would not cry and feel guilty about killing the mice.  He is beside me everyday on this horrible journey of dementia my dad is taking us down. He has laughed at me, made me laugh and cried with me. He has prayed with me and for me... he is my everything.
We never go to bed mad - we always say I love when leaving each other or ending a phone call.  I can't imagine this journey through life without him....I am so glad you stopped by my blog today to meet my best friend. I would love to hear about your best friend.
~ Connie ~