Meditation and Chicken Painting

Nothing ever really changes in my life. Thankfully I still have a loving family, with needs, a full-time family practice, rescue dogs that love me, and a boarding kennel to operate.  Sometimes I have no control over these obligations.  The only control I have is how I handle each obligation or situation.

So, I have been working on meditation. Yep, sitting quietly or standing in a tree pose helps me refocus, center my thoughts and push out negative feelings.   

• According to several books on Meditation, meditation brings the brainwave pattern into a relaxed state that promotes healing. The mind becomes fresh, and delicate.  With regular practice of meditation:
• Anxiety decreases
• Emotional stability improves
• Creativity increases
• Happiness increases
• Gain clarity and peace of mind
• Problems become smaller
• Meditation sharpens the mind by increasing focus and expands through relaxation
• Meditation makes you aware - that your inner attitude determines your happiness.

So if you see me standing in the middle of the clinic in a tree pose, know that I am working on being a better person.  

This week for my crafty side I started a painting.  I am not a painter, but there is something relaxing about sitting with a paintbrush in your hand and being able to add color and life to a blank canvas.

 

Here is hoping you have a perfect week

~ Connie Kay A ~

Be Good To Me Saturday Craft Time

As part of my "be good to me" routine, I spent Saturday crafting. I started with a little sewing.  A friend need a few burp cloths for a baby shower, so I whipped these up in just a couple of hours.  I was a little frustrated at first, my embroidery machine and sewing machine both must have liked being on vacation because neither wanted to work...but with a little prayer and persuasion the sewing machine decided to cooperate. 

Baby Burp Cloths 

Then it was nap-time.  Honey Bunny and I took a short 15 minute nap. It was the best sleep, a quite house and Honey snoring. Rescue dogs can teach us all about life we just listen. Nap-time and cuddles are blessings 

Rescue Dog Resting 

 Looking over my schedule, I realized I had volunteered for flowers this week at church.  So instead of frantically calling a florist, I made a quick run to Walmart and bought flowers.

It look took an hour to put this piece together.  It felt great to be creative.

Creative Saturday Flowers 

 It felt so good to be creative I just kept working I finished up a curtain for the den.  I have had this fabric cut out and ready to go for weeks.  

Saturday - I get to be creative and I also got to check a project off my to-do list. 

Curtain for the Den 

What did you do this weekend to be creative?  What did you do to "be good to you"?

~ Connie Kay A ~

Recovery For A Weary Soul

I am back to blogging!  I feel like I have been gone forever.  I took a few months off to try to regroup.
My soul and body were weary.  Over the last couple of months I have come to realize that stress is real. Stress and an over-loaded calendar can cause spiritual and physical issues.

Over the previous twenty-four months I had opened a family practice, as a new nurse practitioner, built and opened a boarding kennel, cared for my youngest son through two tough surgeries and a life altering illness, along with my husband having two knee replacements and my father, who has dementia moving in with us.  All of this, while trying to stay active doing God's work.  Being mom to 14 rescue dogs, volunteering to take in emergency foster animals, running a free health clinic (two nights a month), and chairing the mission's committee at church.

Some days I woke up and did not have a clue what day of the week it was or where I was supposed to begin.  I gained 10 lbs and lost muscle tone and flexibility.  I let friendships go and found diversion from my responsibilities in social media.

Now,  I am making smarter choices about how to spend my time. I am saying no to things I can live without and yes to things God has spoken to me about.

Over the next few weeks, I will share with you some of the information I have gained from the books I have read, the podcast I have listened to, and the ways I have found to find happiness and peace for my weary soul.  The happiness that God wants us to                                                                have.

If you are looking for the happiness God wants us to experience check out this awesome group read at In-Courage Happiness Dare Book Club

Peace be with you,
~ Connie Kay A ~

Using Imagination in a Crisis

Have you ever been in the middle of something bad happening, that while it was happening felt horrible, but in the end you realized the bad was really good?

My home was the victim of a water leak…one of those pesky leaks that had been secretly seeping under floors and providing water for the sheetrock.

In the midst of furniture being stored, floors being removed, sheetrock being cut out, while working 60 hours a week and trying to keep some sense of normal for my 88 year old father who lives with us and had dementia, I realized that yes the leak was an issue, but I had an opportunity to create the home of my dreams (well, maybe not the whole house, but three rooms).

Imagination is powerful. Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but by the choices we make. Imagination allows us to break down borders, to move beyond our circumstances, to create and constantly progress. 

As I was driving home after work, late one night, I realized, I had always imagined a large room with overstuffed furniture, light walls, and bold accent colors. The word imagine means: to form a picture or idea in your mind of something that is not real or present.   Our old room had tan walls, laminate flooring, large overstuffed dark furniture and black accent tables. It was a comfortable room, but not the room of my dreams.
Ok, so I had a picture in my head, but I found myself being indecisive. What if I choose the wrong flooring? What if light colored walls looked horrible? What if no one liked what I designed?  What if bold accent colors were over powering?  Should I also redecorate the foyer, it does lead into the den???  When I start down the road of “what ifs” I become paralyzed with indecision.  Fear keeps my imagination from becoming reality.

As an educator at heart, I love books.  I often find myself turning to books, when I do not have an answer.
Years ago I had read Myquillyn Smith’s book, “The Nesting Place, It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful”. Knowing I needed inspiration I pulled Myquillyn’s book out and purchased Melissa Michaels “The Inspired Room: Simple Ideas to Love the Home You Have” 

Now I am still living in chaos, but my imagination is running wild. I can see that the pesky water leak, as a blessing.  I have the ability and tools to design and build the room of my dreams. Oh and why stop at one room, my imagination could just run wild with making my home the home of my dreams.

What do you imagine for your home?
Connie

Celebrate the Flavors of spring in Northeast Arkansas

Celebrate the Flavors of spring in Northeast Arkansas

In Northeast Arkansas spring is a time for being outside, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the freshness in the air. 

In Blytheville, AR. spring means it is time for the Farmer’s Market.  Several years ago Blytheville started looking for ways to draw people to Main Street.  A once thriving place, where most of the city’s businesses resided, was then sparsely lined with business among empty buildings and the sidewalks were empty.

Sitting on the west end of Main Street is a blue building prominently displaying a vertical sign with lighted letters, identifying the building as the Grey Hound Bus Station.  The city and Main Street Blytheville organization has diligent worked to restore the building to its original grander.  The building is now listed on the National Register of Historic Places, it is believed to be only one of three of a kind still in existence. Built in 1939, the building houses the local tourist information center, headquarters for Main Street Blytheville, and now Saturday morning Farmer's Market.
Not as large as some Farmer’s Market, Main Street Farmer’s Market in Blytheville is a taste of small town Northeast Arkansas. You can buy fresh vegetables, locally baked goods, and craft items.  On almost any Saturday morning, there will be coffee and homemade tamales available.  

I love to go and buy fresh vegetables. This time of year, fresh green spinach is available.
Being a vegetarian in a family of carnivores, I often try to cook recipes that will bring my meat eating family members over to the Vegetarian side.  One of my family's favorite recipes is fried spinach artichoke balls.  My boys never make fun of my vegetables served up southern fried.

Fried Spinach Artichoke Balls.

Ingredients

9 ounces fresh green spinach, sautéed with a pinch of salt and pepper
1 (6.7 ounce) jar artichoke hearts (drain and pat dry)
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
½ cup shredded Parmesan cheese
3 tablespoons mayonnaise
2 loves minced garlic
1 cup plain panko crispy bread crumbs
2 eggs, beaten
½ cup all-purpose flour
1 lemon, cut into slices
1 pinch coarse salt and freshly ground pepper
4 cups vegetable oil

Directions

Sautee the green spinach in a skillet lightly coated in vegetable oil add a pinch of salt and pepper cook till wilted.  Drain well on a paper towel.

In a large bowl, combine the spinach, artichoke hearts, mozzarella, Parmesan, mayonnaise, garlic, and a pinch of salt and pepper. Stir to combine. Place bowl in the freezer for 10 minutes to firm.

Place the panko, eggs and flour in 3 small bowls.

Roll the spinach mixture into 1-inch balls. Lightly roll in the flour, shaking off any excess. Dip each ball in the egg wash, then lightly roll around in the panko breadcrumbs.

Fry in hot sunflower oil until golden brown, about 3 minutes total.

They are ready to serve.  

If you ever in Blytheville, Arkansas stop the Grey Hound Bus Station.  We would love to have you visit our little corner of Arkansas.  

~ Connie ~

The Homless Dilemma

Life can be unpredictable in many ways.  This week I have been praying that God would lead me to do the right thing.  I listened carefully all week long, but I did not hear a voice tell me what to do, no shooting star with a message appeared, but my gut kept leading me back to Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'

I had found myself in a dilemma, a situation in which a difficult choice had to be made between two or more alternatives.  The dilemma: My son knows a young lady who has no family support, was recently laid off, lost her vehicle, and was evicted with a toddler.  The choice, do nothing, let her find her own way, try to help her maneuver through the homeless system or open our home to her till she can find her way.  

The Big Man and I several years ago opened our home to a young man, who was in a similar situation.  That young man turned out to be an awesome man.  He lived with us for several years and we have grown to call him our son.  So, do we open our home again for this young mother? The answer is yes. 

I can't imagine not having someone, anyone to fall back on when life gets messy.  I can't imagine how scary it must be to not know where you are going to sleep, how you are going to find a job or pay a babysitter. 

Our community has resources to assist when families find themselves in a messy life situation.  I tried several times last week to help this young mother access those resources, let me tell, accessing help is not as easy as it sounds. 

Here are some rules I learned this week:
To access government housing assistance be prepared to wait on a list for housing, it could be 12 to 24 months.
To access rapid housing, a grant program designed to keep people out of homeless shelters you must have a photo ID, an eviction noticed or be homeless (aka meaning you are already living on the street) and meet with the representative on their schedule (not when you have a ride, on your lunch break or after work).
To rent an apartment and some houses you must have references and a decent credit score.
To access food stamps you must have an address and utility bills.
To store what little furniture you have, after selling things to pay the rent and utilities, you must have cash and a vehicle to move your belongings.
I also learned the system sucks!  I have multiple college degrees and I was overwhelmed and frustrated trying to assist this young lady get help.  The system certainly isn't about giving hope, it is much more about taking hope from the homeless.

My family is blessed, the Lord works in mysterious ways, I never dreamed as a single mother of three to some day have a family of five, a man to love me unconditionally, the career of my dreams and the ability to make a difference in my community.

So for now, we have added a sweet young lady and her precious child to our clan. My promise to her is to help her become an independent strong young woman that will someday pay forward the blessings she receives.
I challenge you to look at the homeless in your community, not to judge them, but with open hearts.

Peace Be With You

Connie

One Little Word - Ceate The Life of My Dreams in 2016

Hi Readers,
I have been MIA for a several weeks I had surgery and have been a little slower than expected getting back on my feet.  I hope everyone had a great holiday.

As the new year begins it is time to assess what we accomplished in 2015 and set new goals for 2016. 2015 was an exciting year for my family. We completed our first year with two new businesses  Bed and Biscuit Boarding and Connie's Family Practice.  We have worked hard and been blessed beyond our wildest imagination.

I love to think of the new year as a blank slate. Sine 2012 I have been choosing One Little Word to help me focus my busy life.

In 2012 my word was Balance
In 2013 my word was Time

In 2014 my word was Balance

In 2014 my word was Shalom

As we finish up the first week of 2016, I have been thinking about what I want 2016 to look like. I want 2016 to be the year I create the life of my dreams.   

My One Little Word for 2016

Create

 

Life isn't about finding yourself
Life is about

Creating

Yourself.

Creating the life of my dreams will include:
Spending more time with my Family
Learning to eat healthy
Incorporating Exercise and/or Yoga in to my daily routine

Building my Family Practice

Crafting more
Reading more

Living more in the image of Christ
Blogging about all the I create

 

I am so excited about 2016 - What is your focus in 2016?

~ Connie ~

Bad Labs calls for Healthy Diet

Life has been busy - I recently had my annual labs drawn and the results opened my eyes to how poorly I have been eating over the last six months.  Yes, I am a vegetarian but an unhealthy vegetarian.  According to my labs I am anemic and pre-diabetic.

Now the pre-diabetic stuff is the extra 10 pounds I have gained in six months and the 10 pounds I need to loose before the extra 10.

So I started looking at healthy recipes that I could make quickly.  I found this awesome recipe for
Turnip and Butternut Squash Soup.  I love turnips and butternut squash so I had to try it - but, I made my veggie style.

Turnip and Butternut Squash Soup

2c Turnips, cubed
2c Butternut squash, cubed
1 medium onion, diced
2 tbs olive oil
2 tbs butter
1 quart Vegetable broth or chicken broth
1 tbs honey
Salt and pepper to taste

Heat veggies with butter and olive oil over medium heat until browned and a little soft. About ten minutes. Add vegetable chicken broth and honey. Let simmer for about 20 mins until veggies are tender. Serve hot. Season to taste.

What is your favorite healthy soup?
Connie 

Focusing on fall - Mums

Friday is football in the south. Tonight we drove to Jackson,MO. to watch our grand some play football. There is an awesome vegetable stand that sells gorgeous fall Mums.

The Big Man stopped today so I could just look, well just looking got me 6 mums for the front yard. 

Fall mums are a tradition. We had several that would come up every year. Last year. I had my grandson weed my flower bed and mums looked like weeds. 

Thanks to the Big Man we will be replacing the "weeds" with Fall Mums.

Do you grow Mums?

Connie 

Staring Fall with Focus - Simple Living

I have decided at the last minute to join a 31 Day-Writing Challenge. My focus for the 31-days of October is simple living. Every day of October you should check back to see how I am learning to live simple and focus on the moment. 

To help me remember and learn to enjoy the simple life, I will be reading Simply Tuesday with Bloom (in)courage book club.  

Ya'll know how I try and try to stay organized with my busy life, always looking for ways to stay find more time, to slow down.  I love my iPhone and my planner.  But, I often do not have them with me, especially when I am seeing patients.

So the Big Man bought me an Apple Watch. Today is day one with the watch, so I am undecided if the watch will be an organizational tool or a toy.  

Staring Fall with focus.
Connie 

Finding Time For Me, In a Busy Season

This post has several links to great books - I am not a paid spokesman for any product. I simply want to share my thoughts on these great books and websites with you.

Yesterday was the first day of fall, a new season.  A season is defined by changes in the weather, ecology, and environment.  We often refer to times in our lives as seasons.  I have been in a extremely busy season for almost a year.  I have opened my own family practice as a new nurse practitioner, built and opened a boarding kennel with my husband, moved my 87 year old father in with me and tried to be a good Christian, wife, mother, and mom to my four-legged family.  I have not been very good to myself. I have quit running, quit practicing yoga, added fast food to my vegetarian diet, fallen behind on scrapbooking, missed Sunday morning church and rushed my time with God, I seem to be doing all the talking and very little listening. .In all the hustle and bustle, I feel like I am alone. In my business,  my family has become my sole support system, I have lost my sense of being in a community.

In a busy season we often overlook taking care of ourselves. Several months ago I picked Jessica Tuner's book The Fringe Hours.  I read when I can not sleep.  As I was reading, I realized I miss being creative. I tell my patients that they have to have balance in their lives, but I have lost my balance.

This week I started reading Simply Tuesday: Small-Moment Living in a Fast-Moving World, by Emily Freeman.  Yesterday, I stumbled upon an online book club, Bloom (in)courage. I am supper excited to find that the book club is reading Simply Tuesday.  So, I have made a decision. I am going to join Bloom (in)courage book club and spend some online time with a community of like-minded women.
Why an online book club?
I can read and post comments on my own schedule.
People I interact with come from a wider variety of places and backgrounds.
I will be involved with people who want to read the same genre

Have you ever participated in an online book club?
Want to join me? Go to Bloom Book club (in)courage and sign up today.

Happy fall, ya'll
Connie

Finding Time For Me

I have been MIA for several weeks - life has been busy.  I was on call for 17 days. Being on call  means seeing 30+ patients a day, hospital rounds, and answering after hours call.  I found myself

working 16 hour days.  In my spare time I was trying to grade papers, keep my classroom discussions going, run the kennel, make sure Pops was taken care of and relying on the Big Man to take care of the house and our rescue dogs.  In the end - I was tired, miserable, and grumpy.

About 13 days into this crazy schedule the Big Man showed up in my office and announced we were going on a mini vacation - aka, I am taking you somewhere so you can sleep and not be disturbed.  Pick a place ??? Just in time a drug rep showed up in my office and suggested we go to Branson Missouri.  So, we made reservations, and decided we would travel without an schedule.

This mini vacation, also meant, I had to find someone to stay with my Dad, keep my dogs, and cancel borders.  What are a few more task...but on Thursday of last week, it all cam together,  we set off on our mini vacation. Branson Missouri bound - of course I slept most of the drive.

We had dinner the first night at the Dixie Stampede

We played Put-Put Golf

We rode the Branson Scenic Railway

I slept
We visited the Top of the Rock

I slept

It wasn't until Saturday morning when we started home that I begin to feel like I would be healthy again. 

Healthy means  - I wasn't going to fall asleep every time my bottom hit a chair, cry at the silliest things, or eat every piece of junk food I could find. 

I tell my patients everyday that stress is bad for you, stress can lead to chronic disease, stress can kill you...but, I wasn't listening.  So, today is a new day.  I spent Sunday at home, distressing.  I spent most of the day cleaning my studio, playing with dogs, a little cooking and a little scrapbooking (watch later this week for the scrapbook stuff0.

Our mini vacations is just what I needed to hit the reset button.
I am back - focusing on controlling my stress and finding ways to be healthy.
What do you do to be healthy?
~ Connie ~

When you Coummnity is Made to Look Bad

I live in a small town in Northeast Arkansas. I have lived her for 26 years. I truly believe that my little town is a great place to live - but lately the media has been focusing on the bad things that occur in our community.   Now don't get me wrong - we do have crime, I am not trying to cover up what has happened in our community. Every town / community in America has crime, but crime should not define a community -the people of the community define the community.

My favorite way to describe Blytheville is: "Blytheville may not have a lot of commercial things to offer, but Blytheville has a big heart."  I could list example after example of how the community has rallied to help out another member of the community. From simple bake sales to auctions to building a free clinic.

It is not just the local residents that care for each other, the local businesses and industry are active parts of our community.  Like Nucor-Yamoto Steel, Nurcor Steel Tenaris  and Lowes, who give both of time and resources. They are a huge part of our community. 

The community members know that Blytheville has has a period of decline, but they also know that Blytheville can over come anything.  Community member's big and small are working to revitalize Main Street Blytheville.  The Blytheville Ministerial Alliance works diligently to solve social issues and help build a stronger community.


So why is their crime in Blytheville? Like other communities in America, big or small, there is a segment of our community that feels hopeless and helpless. These members of our community lack the imagination to see a better life or the solid foundation to recognize that life is precious.  They often act out of anger, greed, or mental health issues (mental health is a whole other blog and then some - out mental health system is broken).

How do you change the image of Blytheville? How do you focus the media on the good and not the bad?  How long will it take to see a change?

Adding more police officers might keep residents safer, but the addition of police officers will have little impact on fixing the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness.  Lately our local elected officials seem to think that prayer is the answer.  I do believe that prayer can fix anything, but like the joke about God sending multiple rescuers to get a man off the roof - God has given us the intelligence, resources and tools to start fixing the issue, to rescue those need hope and help. We need to be active - this activity has start in homes and schools.

How long will it take to fix the social issues that lead to crime, a lifetime. Until then, pray that our elected officials use their knowledge and tools to help save those in our community that feel helpless and hopeless. Me, I plan to continue to focus on my community as having a "Big Heart" by continuing my work with the free health clinic and the local humane society and urging others quit talking about the issues and put your "Big Heart" to work, making Blytheville a better place to live and letting the world know - Blytheville is a good place to live.
~ Connie ~

My Newest Obsession - Coop Dreams

A few weeks ago I was visiting the Chicken Chick I found  her post about a new reality TV show -
Coop Dreams.  Being a new chicken farmer (I guess that is what you call someone who owns backyard chickens) I set a reminder in my calender so I could watch the first show.

Getting home for work at midnight I decided to find the channel and set up the TV to record the first episode.  I had no clue the show would air at 5 AM...thank goodness for the technology to record TV shows.

So, first thing the next morning before my feet hit the floor I had to watch the first episode of Coop Dreams.   The Big Man watched it with me...the show was awesome.

We are struggling with where and how to build our feathered girls and boys a new coop.

As we try to incorporate the extra acres we purchased a year ago, into the land our home sits on we have encountered some water issues.  Deciding where to place our new coop, has been challenging.  Every time we decide on a location, we get rain, and we realize that location holds water or is all clay and the spot will not work.
We have finally decided on a location - no trees but we will build some shade into the structure.
This weekend my guys built me a bridge joining the two pieces of property - as you can see from the picture we had drainage put in a few weeks ago, that has resulted in me having to walk out to the road and back up the drive to the kennel to keep form walking in the mud.  I am so proud of the Big Man and the boys they built the bridge without out any plans, just their imagination.
If you notice the first telephone pole behind the bridge, that is the new location of the chicken coop.  We are going to have dirt hauled in before we start building so the girls will be out of the water, but we have a location!!!!! I am so excited. I can't wait to get the coop built - I also have a new swing that The Big Man is going to set up near the coop so I can have my coffee in the morning and watch the feathered children play.

We are also finishing up the youngest son's apartment.  That is the building you see in the background.  Stay tuned for the next couple of weeks as we work hard to build our little urban farm.
Do you ever wonder what to do with your land or your yard? For those that have chickens, any hints you want to share about building a chicken coop?
Connie

 

Keeping it Simple with Water

This past week I had an opportunity to write a guest article for our local newspaper, the Blytheville Courier News.   I opted to write about the simple steps of hydration. I am still trying to find some balance in life and in my role of nurse practitioner, nursing educator, entrepreneur by keeping things simple are important to me.
Drinking water is simple, easy and inexpensive. Yet, so many people I see in my practice drink sweet tea, soda or energy drinks instead of water.
Every cell in your body needs water. That is why it is important to drink enough fluid.  Did you know that muscle consist of 75% water, your brain consists of 90% water, bone consist of 22% water, and blood consist of 83% water. If you do not supply your body with enough water your brain cannot function well, this can even cause a headache or a migraine.
As we approach summer and temperatures above ninety degrees, you should be aware of the symptoms of dehydration such as, dark urine, dry skin, thirst, hunger, and fatigue.

Dehydration can make you feel tired, become constipated, have muscle cramps, a headache, irregular blood pressure and even kidney problems.  Becoming more than twenty percent dehydrated can put you at risk for death. 

We lose water through sweating, exhaling, and urination. In hot weather, you tend to lose more water through sweating, in cold conditions, you tend to urinate more.  When you are ill, like with flu and diarrhea you tend to loose fluid.

How much water should you drink in a day to avoid dehydration?  We have all heard we need to drink eight glasses of water a day, but in reality there is no clear-cut answer to how much water to drink per day.  Water intake depends on several factors like your health condition, your activity status, the climatic conditions, physical size, your weight, and your environment.  

Here is your challenge using the formula below on an average day determine if you are drinking enough water to be healthy. 

Your weight is 150 lbs.  Divide you weight by 2 – the result is the amount of water in ounces you should drink every day. 150 ÷ 2 = 75 (you should drink 75 ounces of water per day). 

So, have you had enough water today? 

~ Connie ~

Ending My Unproductive Time on Social Media

This week has been another challenging week.  I have struggled all week to minimize my sleep debt, find some time for me and keep the rest of my life balanced.  

I have been focusing on identifying ways to minimize wasted time in my day.

In thinking about how to improve my productivity I found some interesting statistics.The average employee will spend 12% of the working day using unproductive applications, such as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube. This amounts to 65 hours a month, which have not been used productively, according to data analyzed by Desk Time

According to other research, people in the U.S. check their Facebook, Twitter, and other social media account 17 times a day, meaning at least once every waking hour, if not more 
I am no exception - when I am feeling stressed or overwhelmed, I grab my phone and check Facebook or twitter. 

Why do I use diversion to support procrastination?  Maybe it is human nature to avoid things we don't want to do??? Maybe I am lazy? Maybe it is just that I am more interested in social media than the things I need to do? 

Either way - social media is impacting how I use my time. 

Work!

So - I am making an effort to limit my time on Facebook by not opening the app at work except at lunch. I am not grabbing my phone first thing in the morning.

I would love to know how you handle social media. Do you find social media taking up productive time? How do you limit your time on social media?
Connie

On a Journey with My Best Friend

I am married to my best friend - and we have been on a journey for 20 years.  This journey hasn't always been easy - we have raised 5 kids, bought and completed rebuild a home, faced retirement and health issues, rescued a few dogs, opened a business and loved each other unconditionally.

The Big Man spent 25 years as a police officer, he is now the City of Blytheville Building Inspector and is the Justice of the Peace for Mississippi County District 8. Besides me, he loves his guns, hunting, food, our children, dogs (he is allergic to cats). 

He literally walked into my life.  We meet at the park running. He doesn't know it but, I almost quit running that night.  Being competitive I thought I had to keep up with him - all 6'3 inches of him with my 5'2' frame.

He loves my children as his own, accepted my houseful of dogs, learned how to trout fish, bought me a tractor and chickens.  Has supported me during my 18 years of formal education.  Helped me loose weight, meet the military weight and physical fitness standards and supported me during my time in the U.S. Army Nurse Corps Reserves.  He has been my biggest cheerleader as I struggled to open a free health clinic and my own family nurse practitioner office.  He has shielded me from mice and even used a live trap to trap the mice and relocate them rather than kill them so - I would not cry and feel guilty about killing the mice.  He is beside me everyday on this horrible journey of dementia my dad is taking us down. He has laughed at me, made me laugh and cried with me. He has prayed with me and for me... he is my everything.
We never go to bed mad - we always say I love when leaving each other or ending a phone call.  I can't imagine this journey through life without him....I am so glad you stopped by my blog today to meet my best friend. I would love to hear about your best friend.
~ Connie ~

Dementia Sucks

Living with a family member that has dementia is difficult, there I said it!  

Dementia sucks!

In August of last year my then 86 year-old father came to live with us.  He was beginning to have some memory issues.  The issues were starting to impact his life - he was a risk when driving, he was starting to have anger issues, he did not always remember to eat or to take his medication.  He had started having difficulty managing his finances.

 Ready or not we drove to Texas and brought him to our home in Northeast AR. This was a big move for a man who was born and raised in Texas and never had any plans of moving out of Texas.

The first few months we adjusted.  The Big Man and our youngest son pitched in and we established a routine for providing care for Pops.

Routines are important for people with dementia.  Structure helps keep things constant which minimizes the confusing that occurs with dementia.

But, we were not prepared for the feelings that come with watching a vibrant independent person loose their ability to be able to recall dates, memories of their life, or complete simple daily task.

Life will never be the same - it is like loosing someone you love, yet they are still standing right in front of you.

Next week we are headed to the geriatric specialist - I know there is nothing we can do to stop this demon called dementia, but maybe we can slow the process down?? maybe we can find a way to accept what the next months or years may hold??? maybe we can find ways to make Pop's life less forgetful???

Dementia sucks!  Over the next few weeks I will be sharing information on dementia on my business blog - Connie's Family Practice  stop by and check out what I learn as Pops and my family fight the demon Dementia. 

~Connie~

Sleep Debt?

Another week and I am still not where I want to be - I am still working hard on being mindful of the moment - but it is really difficult.  I have almost finished reading Lara Casey's book "Make it Happen."  I highly recommend the book - it is a great starting point for prioritizing and remembering.

 

I have come to realize this week that one of my issues is rest.  I work 12-16 hour days Monday - Friday. Saturday I try to catch up spending time with my family and dogs. Then Sunday I am exhausted - all I want to do is sleep, eat, and watch TV. 

Coco Chanel Sleeping In

Getting too little sleep creates a "sleep debt," which is much like being overdrawn at a bank. Eventually, your body will demand that the debt be repaid. We don't seem to adapt to getting less sleep than we need, while we may get used to a sleep-depriving schedule, our judgment, reaction time, and other functions are still impaired.

Meme and Coco Sleeping Buddies

So - Sunday has become my day to repay my sleep debt.  But, I feel like I can not give up a whole day - I feel like I am wasting a whole day.  There are so many things I want to do on Sundays - run, yoga, quilt, scrapbook, and I get nothing done.

Oreo Getting Ready for Bed

My goal next week, starting tonight is to be in bed by 10 PM, no TV maybe a little reading.  Up at 6 AM.  No hitting the snooze button.  This will allow me to have some me time. 

 

Have you ever suffered from sleep debt? If so, how did you keep from getting back into debt?

~ Connie ~

Finding Balance When Life Throws a Curve Ball

If you have been following my blog you know, I have been on a journey to find balance.  Last weekend I had a total meltdown, a far cry from finding balance.  The Big Man (aka the Love of My Life) sustained a fracture to his foot.   My backup is out of commission.

In the first few months of our marriage I quickly realized that as a police officer The Big Man loved his job but he had taken a vow of poverty.  We had five children at home and a very tight budget.  One day I happened to see his paycheck from a part-time job.  Immediately I realized we were never going to financially make ends meet by simply adding his part time job.

The Big Man 

So, we sat down and had a conversation about money.  I offered him the deal of a lifetime. If he would assume some of the  household responsibilities I would pickup a part-time job.  As a registered nurse, I could work an 8 hour shift and make three times what he made in eight hours of part-time work.   He agreed, we had to do what was best for everyone. Feeding growing boys cost a fortune and with the children quickly approaching the age where they would have financial needs (camps, cars, graduation, and college) this swap in household duties was a viable option.

The Big Man and the Girls

So - The Big Man and the kids picked up laundry duty, grocery shopping, meal preparation and general household cleaning duties.  I worked - often six twelve hour shifts.   But, we paid off $30,000 in credit card debt that The Big Man had from his first marriage, we bought a home  and we provided for the kids. The children each participated in band, sports, summer camps, etc.  They had everything they needed and sometimes a little extra.

My Stinky Boys Christmas 2014

At this same time I was pursing a Bachelor's Degree (eventually a Master's and a Post-Masters Degree) and serving in the Army Nurse Reserves.  The household duties all somehow shifted to the Big Man. He cooked dinner every night, made sure the laundry was done, the kids got to school and their events, and the house was clean.
Over the years this arrangement has made me very dependent on the Big Man.

Duck Hunting - I Pray for the duck's safety while he hunts

After my melt down this weekend, I have regrouped, prayed a lot and come to the realization that life could be a whole lot worst, three was a time last year when the specialist thought the Big Man had lung cancer. So, I get up a couple of hours earlier and I go to bed a little later.  I have our new house helper work a little more and the Big Man's foot heals.  In six weeks the walking boot comes off and life goes back to normal.  Till then - responsibilities change a little and I find a new point of balance. In the greater scheme of life - I still have the Big Man and life goes on.

What happens when you find yourself with new responsibilities? How do you find balance when life throws you a curve ball?
~ Connie~